Dangers to young people can range from witnessing violent or explicit “adult” content, to cyber-bullying through social media sites, to interactions with predators online through gaming and social media. The dangers our children face in the online world can feel terrifying and overwhelming but, even in this digital age, God gives us resources to help our children thrive.
The following five biblical principles can help parents teach children and young people how to safely use technology.
1) Put your trust in God as the ultimate protector
The most important thing to remember is that God is the chief source of protection for our families. He doesn’t promise complete protection from all harm for believers and their families however, He provides protection to our children far beyond what we are able to provide. (The Beyond Today television program Why Does God Allow Suffering and a study guide with the same title addresses this subject in more depth.)
The Bible tells us: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord” (Jeremiah 17:7). We are also told to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). When we actively put our trust in God by praying for His guidance in teaching our children, and for His protection of our children and our guidance in teaching them, God can open our eyes to see what we need to do and give us the resources to take positive action.
2) God has given parents a responsibility to guide and protect
The Bible tells parents to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6 – note that this is a principle, not a promise). The Book of Proverbs also tells us that “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…” (Proverbs 22:15). While we need to trust God to enable us to guide our children, the next step is to make sure we are doing our job, in foreseeing the dangers to our children and teaching them and giving them guidelines to keep them from harm.
We can’t expect our children to recognize the dangers of the online world without our careful and loving guidance. As parents we need to be aware of what technology our children have access to and educate ourselves about the potential pitfalls. We need to monitor and place reasonable, age-appropriate limits on how and when our children use technology. Don’t assume that any platform is inherently trustworthy just because it’s labeled “kids” – do your research about every website and app your children use. An internet search of “[insert app name or website] children dangers” can lead to articles about what inappropriate content or hazards children may encounter using specific apps or websites. There is an abundance of articles available online on child internet safety with practical tips on how to manage our children’s technology use.
3) Use the Book of Proverbs as a parenting guidebook
Although the Bible doesn’t have any information about modern technology, as noted above, the Book of Proverbs informs us that children are full of foolishness and need to be guided into wisdom. This doesn’t mean children are stupid but, rather, they are born lacking the tools of discernment. Even if we feel we lack discernment as parents, the Book of Proverbs provides the tools for recognizing what actions and character traits lead us and our children into danger. There are many principles in Proverbs that can be directly applied to teaching our children and teens wise use of technology. These include seeking God’s wisdom continually, being careful with our words (so we don’t incite bullying or hurt others), thinking before acting (such as sharing personal information online), seeking advice, listening to parents… the list goes on.
4) Be merciful
When something goes wrong and we discover a child or teen has made bad choices with their technology use, it’s easy to lash out in anger, especially if they are old enough to “know better.” However, the example of the life of Jesus Christ gives us a much better way to respond to our broken or hurting children. While a young person needs some firm boundaries and limitations to help prevent them repeating a very bad choice, shouting, shaming and humiliation will only shatter relationships. Jesus Christ treated prostitutes, tax collectors and others who were despised in society with great tenderness and care. If we respond with tenderness and love, seeking to understand, our children are more likely to trust our guidance and come to us for help when they are struggling.
5) Admit mistakes and ask for help
As parents it can sometimes feel like we’re surrounded by critics who are quick to point out our failings, but spiritual maturity is being able to admit when we need help, or we’ve been wrong. Sometimes we may need to admit to our children that we have handled a situation badly or been too harsh or too lax. A child or young person who has experienced abuse, or severe bullying, or has been exposed to extreme “adult” content may need counseling, or we as parents may need the help of a trusted mentor in knowing how to move forward. We may also need help in deciding what are reasonable boundaries for technology use in the first place. God encourages us in His word to seek out wise counsel. Proverbs 11:14 says: “in a multitude of counselors there is safety.”
These principles are just a starting point, but while the world our children live in can feel overwhelming and out-of-control, God can give us everything we need to equip our children to face and navigate the digital world. Jesus Christ promised His followers He would never leave them or forsake them (Hebrews 13:5) – that promise applies to followers of Christ in every age. If we seek God, He will be with us and our children, and we can face even the digital world with confidence in Him.
