Maybe you work with someone who is trying to one-up you, or you have a neighbor or former friend who feels you have wronged him or her in some way and is now taking vengeance by snubbing you and spreading lies and rumors.
Being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can stir up strong emotions like anger, hurt and a desire to retaliate, but we are urged to resist this. Jesus instructs us to “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven….” (Matthew 5:44-45).
There are also many other biblical verses conveying the same teaching. Romans 12:14 tells us to “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Proverbs 24:17 instructs, “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls” (24:17), and, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink” (25:21).
Exodus 23:4-5 was written for an agricultural society, but gives an example of this principle: “If you come upon your enemy’s ox or donkey that has strayed away, take it back to its owner. If you see that the donkey of someone who hates you has collapsed under its load, do not walk by. Instead, stop and help.” This approach can be applied in our modern world if, for example, a rival at work or school is facing some kind of setback, and we offer to assist him or her.
We might want to turn our backs on those who hurt or trouble us and simply “not care” about them, but “loving our adversaries” is a principle of God’s way of life. In order to do this we need God’s help to develop the spiritual strength to forgive, and see the issue from the other person’s perspective.
Following are seven positive outcomes we can expect from practicing the admonition to “love your enemies”:
1. We’ll have a more peaceful existence
Taking vengeance is God’s responsibility. He will fight our battles for us, and only God can mete out justice fairly (Romans 12:17 and 19; 1 Peter 3:9). Trying to “settle the score” produces hostility and conflict. God’s Word encourages us to do just the opposite—to be peacemakers and to overcome evil with good (Matthew 5:9; Romans 12:21). When we respond to hostility with kindness and concern, it de-escalates potentially tense situations breaking the cycle of revenge.
2. It can help transform our enemies
Adversaries don’t have to remain adversaries. A possible result of treating them with civility is that over time they may realize they have not been behaving correctly and change their ways, especially if we are praying God will intervene (1 Peter 2:12).
3. It improves our own attitude
When we’re patient and gracious with those we are not getting on with, and strive to understand their backgrounds and perspectives, we take our focus off ourselves and direct our concern to them. This approach helps us develop compassion, empathy and respect, freeing us from dwelling on revenge, and how we have been wronged.
4. God will be more merciful and forgiving with us
Those who offend and hurt us are not the only ones who sin or behave badly at times. We do too and, in addition to repenting and asking God for forgiveness, we need to assess our own attitudes in case we are holding grudges against anyone who has mistreated us: “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). God will be much more merciful with us when we sin, if we extend this same courtesy to others: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7).
5. We bestow honor to God
Everything we do in our lives should honor and glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31), including how we treat those who mistreat us. God wants us to have goodwill towards our enemies, and seek peace with them. Even though it may not make sense from our limited human perspective, we are showing that we have faith in and value God’s directions. Loving our enemies can be a powerful testimony of our faith, demonstrating God’s way works, and showing others good can come living by biblical precepts.
6. We can better see how we need to change
It’s easy to dwell on what others have done to us, but if we are following the directive to love enemies, we should try to understand why they think and act the way they do. We may come to see we might have a part in causing some of the strife, and that the resulting tension isn’t all their fault. We should be willing to consider their criticisms of us, and admit they might actually have some valid grievances (Romans 2:1).
7. It helps us learn to “see” humanity as God does
The more we show love towards those we have differences with, the more likely we are to come to understand why they may be reacting a certain way. Even our worst enemies are made in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1:26-27), and God desires that every human being would repent and be saved, according to His will and timing (2 Peter 3:9; 1 Timothy 2:4). Since God is concerned about all of humanity, we too should cultivate this same love and hope for other people, even those we have differences with. God sees their potential, and we must too.
Realistically, some may continue to dislike and mistreat us, no matter what we do. Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men”. We can’t force others to treat us civilly, we can only change ourselves with God’s help. God wants us to be peacemakers, and every encounter we have with an adversary is an opportunity to build those important peacemaking skills.
